Run With it #1

I'm going to try my hand at a serial story. These character have been poking at me for a long time now, it's time they come meet the world. I hope you all enjoy it! Here's episode 1 of Run with It:


Let me tell you about myself.  I’m 26, an only child with long, dark blonde hair and hazel eyes. I work as an ASL interpreter while finishing my PhD in linguistics…

“There you are! Do you know what that sexual deviant did this time?”

My chin dropped to my chest, as the strident tones interrupedt the painful process of filling out an online dating form. I couldn’t decide if I’m relieved or aggravated.

I sighed, turning wearily toward the invader: my zealous Christian colleague from across the hall.

“Seriously, Sandie, you have no business calling anyone a sexual deviant,” I said, hoping to derail whatever rant was on the way.

“Excuse me?!”

 I now had a rabid, insulted 5’3” Jesus freak standing in the doorway of my office.  Might as well keep going, maybe she’ll get pissed off enough to leave.

“You’ve been dating Brian for 6 years, but you won’t have sex with him, and you don’t masturbate. We’re talkin’ some serious deviations from sexual norms.”

Her scowl was fleetingly replaced in quick succession by shock, embarrassment, and indignation before returning with a vengeance. Well, that plan didn’t work.

“Lorelei, I’m not going to get into the reasons why one should stay chaste.”

Thank God for small miracles.

“There are more important issues at hand. That, that, hedonistic heathen slept with my sister!”

I sighed. A large number of heathens have slept with her sister, but it’s probably not safe to point that out. Back to the heathen in question. If she was coming to me, it was a specific one.

“Okay, now that you’ve tattled on Alex, what do you expect me to do about it?”

 That actually stumped her. She looked perplexed for a moment before asking, “Is beating him an option?”

“Not a good one,” That was a stupid question, and we both knew it.

“Why not?” The plaintive wail grated on my nerves.

“Sweetheart, he brought a dominatrix to Christmas. Beating him will not get you the response you want.”

She dropped into the chair by the door with a disgusted snort, rested her chin on her hand, and glared at me. I returned a level stare.

“She’s pregnant.”

 I refuse to ask what happened. I try very hard to not know what Alex is up to. It saves me from feeling the need to bleach my brain.

“And the Anti-Christ is conceived. Prepare for Armageddon.”

Sandie slapped my arm. Hard. “Be serious! He seduced her last night and..”

 “Hold on. He slept with her last night? And just last night?” I rubbed at my arm.

“She’s only been here two days. And we spent the night before at a play.”

I tsked in irritation. “It’s not Alex’s.”

“But they were…”

I cut her off again. “It takes up to a week after ovulation to implant, and another week after that for the test to be able to detect the hormones. Did you forget your basic biology?”

Sandie bristled. “I was excused from class on those days. I’m …”

“Chaste. I know. But that means abstaining from sex, not health class! Jesus!” Annoyance thy name is Holy Roller.

“Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain!”

“Believe me, Sandie, that was a prayer for patience. Y’know what, I don’t have time for this. Alex isn’t the father. Go catch up on 7^th grade sex ed and we’ll talk later.” I dragged her out of the chair and shoved her out the door. Leaning against it, I glared at my laptop. Suddenly finding a date didn’t seem so interesting. I grabbed my phone. Time to find the other sexual deviant and give him the news. I smirked. Alex as a dad. I was going to enjoy making him squirm.